Today I’m writing for Five Minute Friday, where we write flat out for five minutes, unedited, on a one-word prompt. Today’s word – here. Join the fun with your own post or just read what others have done with their 300 seconds. Check it out athttp://lisajobaker.com/category/five-minute-friday/ Today’s word is “Friend.”
“It was positive,” I said. “I have cancer.” My husband and I were on vacation and I had just talked to my doctor.
He was silent for a minute, his face stricken. Then he said, “Okay, you’re strong, we’ll beat this.” There was no room for doubt in his voice but there was fear in his eyes.
“Right,” I said. “It’s uterine cancer. If you have to get cancer, it’s not a bad one to get. I’ll be fine.”
That became my mantra. When you tell people you have cancer, the next thing out of your mouth has to be something that reassures them that you’re going to be okay. So when I told my mom, who was in fragile health herself, I smiled and said, “I’ll be fine, Mom.”
When I told my kids, I smiled and said, “It’s no big deal, guys.”
When I told my boss, I smiled and said, “It’s really not serious.”
When I told my friends, I smiled and said, “Hey, I’ll get six weeks off work! Come on, you guys, quit with the serious faces. In the great big world of cancer, this is nothing.”
And my mom, and my kids, and my boss, and my friends were all concerned, and kind, and tender, and sweet … but all very relieved that I was so upbeat and taking it so well. So optimistic. Yeah, you go girl! Don’t let that stupid cancer thing get you down.
And for the most part, that worked for me. It really did.
But when I told my dearest, closest, lifelong friend, I just said, “I have cancer.” And I cried.
And my friend cried too. And asked me if I was scared. And listened while I poured out my fears. And didn’t tell me everything would be all right, and didn’t tell me not to worry, and didn’t tell me to be strong, and didn’t tell me just to trust God.
My friend simply told me, “I love you.”