A Hiding Place

Today I’m writing for Five Minute Friday, where we write flat out for five minutes, unedited, on a one-word prompt. Today’s word – here. Join the fun with your own post or just read what others have done with their 300 seconds. Check it out athttp://lisajobaker.com/category/five-minute-friday/  Today’s word is “Friend.”

“It was positive,” I said.  “I have cancer.” My husband and I were on vacation and I had just talked to my doctor. 

He was silent for a minute, his face stricken. Then he said, “Okay, you’re strong, we’ll beat this.”  There was no room for doubt in his voice but there was fear in his eyes.

“Right,” I said.  “It’s uterine cancer. If you have to get cancer, it’s not a bad one to get. I’ll be fine.”

That became my mantra. When you tell people you have cancer, the next thing out of your mouth has to be something that reassures them that you’re going to be okay.  So when I told my mom, who was in fragile health herself, I smiled and said, “I’ll be fine, Mom.” 

When I told my kids, I smiled and said, “It’s no big deal, guys.”

When I told my boss, I smiled and said, “It’s really not serious.”

When I told my friends, I smiled and said, “Hey, I’ll get six weeks off work!  Come on, you guys, quit with the serious faces.  In the great big world of cancer, this is nothing.”

And my mom, and my kids, and my boss, and my friends were all concerned, and kind, and tender, and sweet … but all very relieved that I was so upbeat and taking it so well.  So optimistic.  Yeah, you go girl!  Don’t let that stupid cancer thing get you down.

And for the most part, that worked for me.  It really did. 

But when I told my dearest, closest, lifelong friend, I just said, “I have cancer.” And I cried.

And my friend cried too.  And asked me if I was scared.  And listened while I poured out my fears. And didn’t tell me everything would be all right, and didn’t tell me not to worry, and didn’t tell me to be strong, and didn’t tell me just to trust God. 

My friend simply told me, “I love you.”

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11 Responses to A Hiding Place

  1. shortybear says:

    Thanks for touching my heart, bless you.

  2. Joy Lenton says:

    Just the sort of friend we all desire to have, one who will allow us to truly be ourselves, is ready and open to anything we may want to share with them and loves us just the same. Such a blessing for you, Susan. Thanks for sharing your journey and your incredible friend with us. Blessings 🙂 xx

    • Susan says:

      Funny how we tend to hide, even from those we love the most. It really is a blessing to have someone here in the physical world with whom we can bare all. Thanks for coming by.

  3. Now THAT’S a friend! I’ve got a couple like that and they are immeasurably invaluable! Thanks for sharing. I’m your next door neighbor at FMF. 🙂 Sorry it took me so long to get on over here, been a crazy day!

  4. Beautiful. Thank you for being willing to share this tender moment with us. It is so important to have those dear ones who can share our most vulnerable moments and be like another part of our own selves, just walking around in another body. So glad you have this in your life.

    • Susan says:

      Thanks, Nita. Friends like this are rare treasures. And new friends are treasures, too — this week’s word made that old childhood song run through my head — make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold. Thanks for being a new friend!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Once again you have touched me my dear friend…I do love you……and yes I’m crying again but this time tears of joy!

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